It's Only KINDA Real, So it's Okay

Everybody has to be a little wicked sometimes, and I like to let my wicked out when I watch reality TV. I judge, where normally I wouldn't judge. I enjoy the indiscretions of others, when normally I. Would. NEVER. ;) I figure it's all in the contract between me and the people who signed up to have their lives on display. So... let's be wicked and have a little fun. American Idol My favorite Idol contestant, and this is not going to be a popular opinion, is STEFANO! I think his good looks are working against him. Admit it, you would all vote for him if he looked like this: Or dressed like this: I’m here to stand up for the beautiful people. The ones who you look at and think, “I’m not the least bit surprised to hear a gorgeous voice coming out of that gorgeous person, therefore I’m not voting for them.” Hey listen! Attractive people need votes too, just as much as those who have untamable facial hair or dress unfortunately. Rock the HOT vote! My least favorite Idol is: …and it’s weird, because I usually like anybody that will stick to their own standards, but gospel music is just too…. bouncy for me. Plus when he moves he reminds me of a duck, preening and thinking from time to time about taking flight. Take a look and try to dispute that.

Dancing with the Stars.

Can we please talk about Ralph Machio… aka, Daniel Son. I will forever love him… even though he still looks so much like Daniel Son that the signal from my brain to my eyes gets mixed up and for a moment I almost confuse it with my innate pedophile warning. Over the weeks though, I’ve come to realize that there is no real pedophile danger. My mind is just having a hard time computing what the eyes are seeing. The ears struggle too. I hear him dedicate dances to his wife and I’m like, “Wait a second, where’s ‘Alli with an i’? Shouldn’t you two be giving the old family car a good push and then jumping in just in time for your mom to drive you both to the arcade?”

I also want Ralph to have more attitude than he does. I mean, Daniel Son was BAD. He had GRIT! I must admit I got a little thrill when Ralph swore last week on the show and they had to bleep him. He and Jacob Lusk both need a little less: And a little more:

But my FAVORITE couple from Dancing with the Stars is Maks and Kirstie! What girl in this world is still trying to resist Maks after his leg buckled two weeks ago and he got back up and winced his way through pain to deliver for his partner. Survivor Boston Rob is both my favorite and my least favorite. He’s genius, but his thirst for power might bring him down. I mean, let your team eat a little fish, wouldja??? Plus, I love Matt. Poor, sweet, naïve, notalickasense Matt. My main hope for every reality show is for someone to find reality show love. After recent events, my hopes for these two are shattered …unless she gets sent to Redemption Island and there’s a terrible rainstorm in which their shelter blows away and they must escape into each other’s arms for protection from the raging storm and use each other’s bodies for heat in the bitter cold…. but that probably won’t happen… and hasn’t happened… in my imagination… or anything… So... what do ya think? Am I right???