It’s that time of year, my friends. That time of year when the excitement of Christmas is over and all that’s left is to take inventory of your life. Another year come and gone. It’s that time of year when your spouse starts thinking of resolutions they’d like you to make. ;)
Ryan Edward is a goal fanatic. He’s all about the “envisioning” and the “positive thinking” and the “set a goal and it will happen”… not barring hard work of course.
We went out to lunch today and we were talking about our potential. We were talking about what we think we’re meant to accomplish. Who are we? What are our strengths? How can we best serve? Is service our motivation for success, or are we motivated by glory or money or praise?
It’s that time of year when you take a good long look at who you really are. But who are you? Deep down, without the influence of anyone else… who are you? You probably have no idea. Ryan Edward and I were talking about that. How much of who we are is because of circumstance? Because of our surroundings? Of our town, of our neighborhood, of our friends, family, health, finances? If our circumstances changed, would it change us? I think so. It makes me wonder: What is innately me and wouldn’t change no matter what or who influenced me?
Three things I deeply love just because I do.
1) I love to create. I love to spend hours (if only I had hours to spend) puttering and applying and knowing that the most important person for me to please with the thing I’m making is ME. I love to work on it until I’ve looked at it so long that I don’t like it anymore, and then take a break from it, go back to it and realize that, really, I love it a whole bunch, finish it, and then set it out on display in front of me and stare at it from every angle and know that I did that.
This is me all the way. It’s something Ryan Edward and many others don’t understand. They think there must be more useful ways to spend one’s time, or they think everyone is better off getting whatever version can be bought in a store. They might be right, but I still love knowing my two hands and my imagination brought something into existence. When Ryan Edward questioned my latest project… the frilly/funky “tween” tutus I made for my daughters for Christmas, I told him that I never have time to create anything anymore, and it’s stealing my soul away. I needed to make these, whether it made sense or not. He looked scared (haha). He backed away slowly, and didn’t question my methods again, nor my late, late hours leading up to Christmas. Far be it for him to suggest I lose a portion of my very soul. :)
2) I adore romance. I feel lost if I don’t regularly feel that romantic thrill I get from a story or a movie or a song. I think I’ll need a steady dose of it all through January as I start another phase of what I like to call my “healthy lifestyle” change, but what is REALLY a series of daily pep talks in which I cycle motivational speeches like “You see, Amie, you feel so much better when you’re doing this” with self-loathing statements like “You can’t eat that candy Amie, you just can’t or you’ll have failed again and you’ll dread getting dressed in anything without an elastic waistband every day for the rest of your life. Is that really what you want? Is it?!?!”
In the name of romance, I’ll tell you my favorite book that I’ve read in the last six months or more. I hesitate because I wouldn’t recommend it to a young, unmarried. It’s got too many hormones for them, but ahhhh....the hormones. I love them. Shhhh. Don’t tell the young, unmarrieds. It’s Anna and the French Kiss by Stephanie Perkins. The best thing about it is the way the author is able to keep the chemistry going and the big question of whether the couple will end up together through the whole book without making the reader dislike either of them. Mmmm and they get so close and then something legit barely keeps them apart, and then something else legit, and I just love every heart wrenching second of it. I’m very particular about my endings and this one didn’t disappoint. I can’t wait to get my hands on the companion novel, Lola and the Boy Next Door.
3) I’m going to nutshell the third one by saying that I love things that are constant. Getting in bed at the end of the day, so cozy and peaceful. Good music that can make you feel things and bring back a thousand unexpected memories when it comes over the speakers at the grocery store. Justice. I LOVE rules and the following of them, and the end result being expected and deserved. I love watching Judge Judy. I’ve been watching court TV since I was in elementary school. Deep down, I wish I could speak my mind like the judges do. Tell people that they’re being stupid and unfair when they are, and punish them as they deserve. Sounds a little harsh, huh? Justice. Harsh but fair. It just makes sense to me.
In the name of the New Year, three things I want to be and could be good at with work:
3) Getting my books published
Aaaaand just for fun, three things I love because I’m married to Ryan Edward, and probably would NOT love otherwise:
1) Deep movies with “tough” messages.
2) The history channel.
3) Heaven help me… sci-fi… but dang it, Captain Picard is awesome. None of you should be able to deny that!
Does it make you think? What makes you YOU? How do other people influence you? And how do you hope to improve what you are? ...It's THAT time of year.